Paris is Burning (1990)
Everybody wants to make an impression, some mark upon the world. Then you think, you've made a mark on the world if you just get through it, and a few people remember your name. Then you've left a mark. You don't have to bend the whole world. I think it's better to just enjoy it. Pay your dues, and just enjoy it. If you shoot a arrow and it goes real high, hooray for you."
I WANT TO BE A LAWYER
I WANT TO BE A SCHOLAR
BUT I REALLY CAN’T BE BOTHERED
"The greatest happiness is seeing someone you like stay happy."
- Daidouji Tomoyo, Cardcaptor Sakura
Saturn’s Moon “Titan”
cut the sleeves off my 80s z cavaricci jean jacket and finally added patches to the front B) this is the jacket w/ the deer on the back; i plan on sewing some fabric to the panel around them eventually.
I really hate it when articles about disabled people say things like, “They don’t let disability stop them from doing what they love!” Initially, I hated it because it seemed like shock over the fact that disabled people are, well, people who *gasp* have lives, but that’s not the worst part of that narrative.
The thing is, that narrative also implies that the opposite is true and that the disabled people who don’t make headlines simply “let their disabilities stop them.” This kind of thinking is really, really dangerous.
My parents emotionally abused me. My struggles with school were rarely taken seriously and I was told that I was “just being lazy” and all I needed to do was “apply myself.” When I became depressed, my mom seriously told I was just being manipulative, and she made her thinking known to my teachers who would tell me that I was just “using crying as a cop-out” when I had meltdowns.
I internalized all of that, so imagine how fun it is for me now that I’ve grown up and developed chronic pain. I’m still struggling to find the balance necessary to function, and I constantly worry that I could be doing a whole lot better if I just worked harder. That thinking just leads to unnecessary stress, which is detrimental given that my pain is worsened by anxiety.
The breathless news stories about “inspirational” disabled people who “don’t let their disabilities stop them” enforce the kind of thinking that messed me up in the first place, and I really hate the thought of other people growing up with the kind of hangups I had. No one needs that.